I've gone rogue

I think my cycle is about to be canceled. I had an E2 yesterday of 632 but was optimistic because of my 3 good lookin follicles. Well, when I went in today I had 6 measurables. One at 11 and one at 12 on the right and 3 at 13 and one at 14 in the left. My RE said (and I know) that we'd in the "danger zone" for a cancelled cycle since there are so many close together. My E2 level was 910. I have to step down my dose and go back tomorrow. I am almost positive they will cancel me. I know that anything can happen (and that's especially true with my body) but I am not getting my hopes up. I just don't see how a few will be able to grow to trigger size and yet the other won't grow at all (which is what I need to happen). In an ideal world most of my left side follies would grow and the right would stay just where they are, but again, I am not sure how that's possible. I was explaining to my mom that I might have to cancel since I would ovulate too many and she said "Well can't they just stop a few of them." Uhm, no. Clearly she didn't have any trouble with pregnancy. She did offer me her ovaries, but I think that's a little weird!

So here's where I have decided to take matters into my own hands. I am taking slightly less than the 50IU the RE told me to take. Not a lot less, but 50IU just seems like too much given my situation and I figure I'm throwing money down the drain at this point anyways, so why not? I'm totally a rebel.

I did pretty well with Mother's Day but it definitely helped that my mom and I celebrated yesterday when I was riding the wave of good news. Today I picked strawberries in a strawberry field and it was completely silent except for the sound of an Asian man playing a pan flute (Weird? Yes.). It was so relaxing and a great way to clear the mind. And now my kitchen smells like wonderfully ripe strawberries :)